For those who haven't yet heard about my first encounter with the ghost, here is an illustration of what happened:
As you can see, it was a fairly simple affair. The ghost appeared, hovering above my bed. I said "Hello?" And then nothing happened. It wasn't THAT scary.
Last night, though, I woke up screaming! Granted, it was a pretty pathetic-sounding, I-just-woke-up-and-my-voice-is-still-stuck-in-my-throat-scream that Rachel may or may not have heard through our newly semi-insulated walls, but nevertheless, I was terrified. In my dreams, the ghost had wrestled me to the floor while I struggled to put my hands into its mouth. Unfortunately, its mouth kept multiplying until its whole face was full of mouths and those mouths were full of different kinds of travel-sized toiletries: one mouth full of mini-toothpastes, another full of mini-mouthwashes, another full of tiny packages of anti-bacterial hand wipes, etc. There was no way I could get my two hands inside of all of those mouths. I'm pretty sure that the ghost was about to eat me when I woke up.
As I gathered my senses, I became aware of a woman's voice speaking very loudly to an unheard second party. It sounded just like Lauren! But this was at 4 a.m., and I'm pretty sure that the phantom-woman was in the process of ordering a pizza.
So, to recap, this is what we now know about the ghost:
1. It has a man's face but a woman's voice.
2. It likes pizza.
3. It can shape-shift into a multi-mouthed toiletry-carrying nightmare creature.
4. It doesn't like me.
Additionally, here are a few things that may or may not be true:
1. I am possessed.
2. I am a pathological liar.
3. I am crazy.
4. No one else in my house has been bothered by the ghost because I, alone, have the special capacity to be serially haunted, perhaps because of some horrific crime I committed in a past-life. Or, you know, some other reason.
You can vote in the comments, if you'd like.
8 comments:
having grown up with a serial ghost THAT HAD TO BE EXCERCISED, my thought is this: though i've seen signs that there is one, i'm not yet convinced. ghosts don't like pizza anyway; most sauces have garlic in them.
the toiletries are convincing though. everyone needs toiletries.
also, i didn't hear you scream. thank goodness for that pillow and tissue box, huh?
MAYBE THE GHOST IS OUR UPS MAN!
jennie, sometimes when I watch scary movies I wake up screaming and (once) actually strangling someone. I was just wondering if maybe in a days gone by I would've been labeled a demon for that kind of behavior, but the point is: I think the ghost is real. and as to rachel's point in the above comment: aren't vampires more afraid of garlic than ghosts? in china (as rachel might remember from hseih's chinese history class) there are "hungry ghosts," which would almost certainly eat garlic.
Thank you, Adrienne.
Take that, Rachel
adrienne, you don't know what you are talking about.
rachel, just because a website shod all in black tells me "not to laugh" at its methods doesn't mean I will believe them at the expense of generations of chinese folklore and superstition.
Rachel, why are you so aggressively antagonistic in your blog comments? People are going to think that you have a bad personality.
this post made my eyes water. therefore the ghost is real.
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