While I hate to sound like a broken record, everyone knows that October is paranormal prime time, and so, supernaturally (ha ha), I had another run-in with the ghost last night.
For those who haven't yet heard about my first encounter with the ghost, here is an illustration of what happened:
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As you can see, it was a fairly simple affair. The ghost appeared, hovering above my bed. I said "Hello?" And then nothing happened. It wasn't THAT scary.
Last night, though, I woke up screaming! Granted, it was a pretty pathetic-sounding, I-just-woke-up-and-my-voice-is-still-stuck-in-my-throat-scream that Rachel may or may not have heard through our newly semi-insulated walls, but nevertheless, I was terrified. In my dreams, the ghost had wrestled me to the floor while I struggled to put my hands into its mouth. Unfortunately, its mouth kept multiplying until its whole face was full of mouths and those mouths were full of different kinds of travel-sized toiletries: one mouth full of mini-toothpastes, another full of mini-mouthwashes, another full of tiny packages of anti-bacterial hand wipes, etc. There was no way I could get my two hands inside of all of those mouths. I'm pretty sure that the ghost was about to eat me when I woke up.
As I gathered my senses, I became aware of a woman's voice speaking very loudly to an unheard second party. It sounded just like Lauren! But this was at 4 a.m., and I'm pretty sure that the phantom-woman was in the process of ordering a pizza.
So, to recap, this is what we now know about the ghost:
1. It has a man's face but a woman's voice.
2. It likes pizza.
3. It can shape-shift into a multi-mouthed toiletry-carrying nightmare creature.
4. It doesn't like me.
Additionally, here are a few things that may or may not be true:
1. I am possessed.
2. I am a pathological liar.
3. I am crazy.
4. No one else in my house has been bothered by the ghost because I, alone, have the special capacity to be serially haunted, perhaps because of some horrific crime I committed in a past-life. Or, you know, some other reason.
You can vote in the comments, if you'd like.